How to Talk to Little Kids

I came to Starbucks today to write about my morning.  Instead I was presented with two adorable sets of young children to observe at the table opposite mine and so I am writing about them instead. 

The first set was two little girls…maybe about 5 and 7.  They had the reddest of hair and were wearing cute little sundresses under long raincoats and bows in their hair.  They sat with their mother and uncle and had American Girl books in hand.  It seemed the uncle hadn’t seen the girls in a while and proceeded in to interact with them on their level.  It was absolutely enchanting to watch.  He said things like “Do you remember me?  My name is ‘Uncle Victoria’ or ‘Uncle Pickle Pie’ or ‘Aunt Robert’.  The girls howled with laughter and it fueled his passion and their interaction.  He asked them open ended questions like “where is the train going” upon hearing the familiar toot of the “choo-choo”, as he called it.  His eyes were bright and he leaned forward to hear their answer of “maybe to China!”  Clearly he was genuinely interested in what they had to say.  He responded to their answers with glee, inviting them to talk and share and be themselves.   It appeared that Mom wanted them to be quiet so she could read her book and couldn’t care less about this uncle-niece conversation.  They weren’t noisy but they were anything but quiet…as well they should be when reuniting with an uncle. 

The other set of children came right on the heels of the girls vacating their table.  They were two little boys who appeared to be twins with a set of dads in tow.  I was secretly hoping for gay dads with adopted kids but it turns out the dads were brothers and boys nearly identical cousins.  A police car pulled in…a regular at Starbucks.  The boys were THRILLED to see the car and stood up on their chairs to get a better look.  When the officer came out with cup in hand he asked the boys if they would like to see the lights.  The look of pure excitement on their little faces was absolutely priceless as they watched the spinning blue lights come on and the car pull out of the lot.  Both dads and I turned our heads between watching the car and watching the boys watching the car.  We made eye contact as we shared in the unspoken knowledge that we had just witnessed a childhood moment not lost.  One boy came over and with a little prompting from dad, asked if he could pet the dogs.  I said he could as long as he was gentle and he told me he would be.  He then surprised me when he smartly informed me that you have to let a dog smell you first.  I guess he is a seasoned dog-petter.

Thus began a delightful conversation with this tiny young man.  I asked him his name and I guessed correctly that he was 4.  I also guessed that his cousin, who never did come over despite the older one’s efforts, was only 3.  He literally bounced up and down at my magically correct guesses and nodded his head in excitement.  He then proceeded to tell me that after his cousin is done being 3, he will be 3 and a half!  He then told me that he is almost 4 and a half and that he would then turn 5, and then 5 and a half and then 6 and then 7 and 8 and 9 and 10 and 11.  He stopped at eleven and said that he would then be really big!  I wondered if he just didn’t know what came after eleven.   I asked him how big he would be and he put his little arm up as high as he could reach.  “THIS BIG” he said with a huge smile and wide eyes.  We talked and he continued to pet the dogs and bounce intermittently.  I asked him questions and reflected his answers so he knew I was listening.  We wound up talking so long that his dad realized I may be bothered and called him back.  I wanted to tell him that I was gathering material but I kept that to myself.  Funny how incessant talking from a random adult can bug me to no end but the same behavior from a little kid, is welcomed.  Back at his table, the two boys took up a game of running in tight circles and yelling as loud as they could…eventually inciting both dads to pull the plug on their inventiveness.  I just smiled and reveled in the whole interaction.  Just before they left, the boy came back for one last pet. He thanked me for letting me pet the dog and I thanked him for the inspiration.  :)

How to talk to little kids?  Show excitement. Let your eyes sparkle. Ask open ended questions. Get on their level and ask them about their interests. Delight in their answers. Talk about ridiculous and impossible things.  Make up stories together.  Laugh.  Smile.  Be silly.  Whoever said that children should be seen and not heard?  Phooey on them...get 'em talkin'!